Wednesday, 23 December 2015

Then there was one.....

the world took a wrong turn nearly 4 years ago when my twin sister got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer........sadly in August the news came that the treatments were not working...........its funny how you put yourself inside a bubble while all seems to be going well........you forget it can be fatal because it's being treated..........but then the bubble popped................

since August life has been a roller coaster ride............my sister has been in hospital since the end of August........
many of you will have no idea this has gone on but a lot of the ladies who i have met personally have known the whole time and quiet a few assisted with support in various ways thru the years.............
So this is thanks to you for all the support I have received........
the emails, text and phone calls..........
you know who you are..........
THANKYOU
we have a big family but no other siblings arrived until we were 8 years old so I feel like I have a whole different life at times that they know nothing about............
feeling quite isolated.......
yes my Mum dressed us identical..........every photo we had exactly the same clothes........occassionally the same but different colours............
she chopped our hair short not too long after we went to school as it was to hard to get 2 girls ready with long blond hair and onto the school bus run in time..........
This photo below taken when we were about 10 years old......the short hair had grown and this is the 1st photo I found with completely different outfits on..........not long after this photo my sister got her hair cut short and I kept growing mine............much to everyone's joy I am sure as we finally looked different......so they could tell us apart even though we are not identical twins...................
The last 5 months have taken there toll..............especially the last few were I became carer for my Dad too as he had a major op.......something I very willingly chose to do but it had to be done.......but there were some hiccups along the way.........
all aspects of my life were OUT OF CONTROL.........
And other sad realities of life became clear..........
So I won't be back for a little bit..........we have only made decisions for Christmas today...........
I do know some sleep is high on the cards and some quiet slow time at home............
but blogland is were I run away too so I will not be deserting you........
you have been my companions at all hours in the middle of the night when i can't sleep...........I have wanted to comment on many posts but it is a little harder on my phone and sometimes my brain can't think of the right thing to say at 3am............
As Grace said on my last post "someone some where is much worse off them me"
it's what gets me thru lots in life and it is my first thought when I think things are bad..........
Goodnight........and hugs to those who are like me and not having the happiest Christmas for whatever reason......
Catch you later.............
Chookyblue............

103 comments:

  1. I had no clue. Thanks for sharing and the hug. My Christmas is not a happy one too. I understand and feel for you and your family

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  2. Hugs to you and your family.
    You are a very giving lady. It is great to read that we give you support through our blogs.
    Simone xx

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  3. So sorry for the loss of your twin-sister and all that’s happening in your life right now. It’s hard to loose a sibling, but being a twin makes it even harder. I will be thinking of you Donna and please take care!

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  4. So sorry for your loss. I too lost a sister this year but it must be doubly hard when you are close as twins. Blessings sent your way
    MAMA Bear

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  5. Oh my.... Words fail me right now.... I am so sad to read your post. I want to send you a hug and know that I am thinking of you.
    Blog land is wonderful to run too.. I do it too........ There is much support here, many many people/friends that care. It's true most of us may not of met, but we belong to a strong community... Where online friends are just as special.
    Take care xx

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  6. I am so sorry to read of your loss Donna. Only wish I could give you a loving hug. Take care XXX

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  7. I'm so sad for you ChookyBlue... It's never easy... And nothing I say can help while you grieve... But know your friends send you hugs. I won't say merry Christmas as I know it won't be...but remember the good time spent together in past Christmas' and smile at them. Your sis will see. Take care my friend...xox

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  8. My heart breaks for you and your family but mostly you-I cannot imagine the pain of losing a twin.
    Blessed Be.

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  9. Sending lots of hugs your way .... to get you through this difficult time.

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  10. So Sorry too read your post Donna, My Thoughts are with you and your family at this time.Take Care xx

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  11. Donna. . . .hugs and prayers to you and yours.

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  12. I am so very sorry to hear of your loss.

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  13. take time out for you and your family .... please don't feel alone.. there is always someone there... its hard to ask for help.. but there is ALWAYS some one there x

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  14. YOU have been on my mind, heart and in my prayers since your last post--knew that something was going on--sooo sorry you lost a sister--
    love,and hugs, di

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  15. Thinking of you at these sad times. Take Care .xxxooo

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  16. My thoughts are very much with you and your family - huge hugs xx

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  17. Thinking of you, no words to say, Christmas is especially hard for those who are missing someone. (xx)

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  18. Oh Donna, thats really hard and very sad.Christmas is especially hard when you are greiving.
    Take care

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  19. I am so very sorry for your loss, Donna! I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts...
    Take care!

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  20. Thank you for sharing. Thinking of you and your family.

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  21. I dropped by to wish you and yours every joy of the season and am so sorry to read of your sadness. Thinking of you Chooky ... and hoping 2016 brings much better things for you.

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  22. Just sending you the biggest ((((((HUG)))) nothing else I can say to ease the pain you must be feeling at this time, just know we are all thinking of you and sending you lots of love :(

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  23. So sorry to read of your loss.... may you find peace in the days ahead...you are in my thoughts - sending you ((hugs))

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  24. Owwww Chooky, Nothing I say will make a difference, some days will be good, some bad, but you will feel the love directed your way and know that friends are thinking of you. Take care and look after yourself... sending lotsa love...xxx

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  25. Hugs and prayers from around the world. So sorry for your loss. Come back to blogland when you're ready. You'll always have a place here.

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  26. Sorry to hear of your loss, but Thankyou for sharing the gorgeous photos of you and your sister.
    Hope things will work out with your dad and that you find time to also take care of yourself.
    It's important for carers too to be looked after to get through
    I hope you will still get the chance to run away to blog land

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  27. Time to rest and take care of yourself for a while. We will all be here waiting for you when you're ready. The photos are just gorgeous, love your blonde hair and matching outfits. I hope you can find some peace over Christmas. x

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  28. Wishing you some time to rest and rejoice in old memories, good memories of happy times together. Take as long as you like to grieve, its your grief, go at your pace.

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  29. Sorry to hear of your loss. Love the photo's. Take care & look after yourself. Love 'n' hugs,xx

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  30. Sorry to hear about the loss of your precious sister. Thinking of you Donna. Lots of love.

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  31. I'm so sad to hear of what's been going on in your life lately. Know that you and your family will be in my prayers.

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  32. Aww Chooky my heart is broken for you and your family .... Much love xxx

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  33. After reading your post, I was out of words... I'm so sorry... that's just what my limited english alows me to express... I'm sending you a big hug...

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  34. Even on your darkest days there is an angel by your side to guide you along the way.

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  35. My heart goes out to you in your time of grief. Just remember you now have a special guardian angel watching over you. May God bless you and your family.

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  36. I have no words. None to make things better, or to cheer you up. Only thr biggest of hugs that can be delivered through the blogisphere, hoping it will reach you on the other side of the world.

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  37. Sending hugs, Donna, to you and your family. I am so sorry to hear that your sister has passed away. Please take time and energy to look after yourself as well now. There are going to be lots of first times, give yourself space to work through them. Much love, Vix XXXX

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  38. So sorry to hear of your loss chooky, but thank you so much for sharing your photos, I loved looking at them. Please take some time to look after yourself....looking forward to seeing you back in blog land when you are ready. ...love and hugs.xxxx

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  39. Sending my love to you and your family Chooky. I know that you have been holding your breath for so long. I'm hugging you with my heart xxx

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  40. Oh Chooky - I know there are no words to ease your pain. I'm incredibly sorry. My best friend's mum succumbed to this horrible disease early on in life too. One foot in front of the other. May your beautiful memories and wonderful photos bring a smile to your face at some stage unstated of pain in your heart. Thinking of you. Christmas is a hard time for many.

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  41. I am so sorry, I can't imagine losing the person that has been with you forever. Look after yourself xx

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  42. Much love to you during this very tough time .... one day at a time, one breath at a time. Big Hugz

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  43. dearest chooky my heart goes out to you and your family,its not easy my friend but things will get better over time,she will always live on in your heart,wish i could give you a hug and say everything is ok,luv you heaps buddy xxxxxxx

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  44. You know there are people out here who care about you and send support. Peace.

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  45. Know that we are all thinking of you at this sad time. Love the photos. You may have been dressed alike but such cute outfits. Sending hugs

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  46. Dear Chooky, my heart goes out to you.
    Big hugs at this sad time..

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  47. So sorry Chooky. Big hugs to you! When I found your blog and your stitch-a-long a few years ago, I learned to stitch from you. Stitching has been a lifesaver for me and gotten me through some hard times! xo

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  48. Sending big hugs to you and your family. Thank you for sharing the photos they were really beautiful. Take small steps, just one at a time. xx

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  49. I am very sorry to hear about your sister, Chooky. You have been though a very difficult time, and my thoughts are with you and your family. Know that all your blogging/crafting friends are thinking of you. Take care. Hugs, Yvonne

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  50. Your photos are a wonderful memory for you of all the good times you had together. My thoughts are with you... Take care of yourself.
    Hugs

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  51. Dear Chooky,
    best wishes to you and your family and some joyful sharing time together on Christmas.
    You are with us in our thoughts and we hope the best for you.
    Greetings,
    Sylvia

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  52. Oh I'm so sorry to hear your heart ache... It is a very hard time of year for many but when you are ready we will be here waiting to comfort you. Thinking of you and we welcome a message any time of night... Big hugs for you...

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  53. Oh Darling Donna I am so sad to read this.....Reaching out and sending you a Big Hug.....Thank you so much for sharing your photos with us all. Thank goodness there is Blogworld where you can escape to and reach out and chat.....as you once said, there is alway somebody around. Thinking of you at this time......know that your dear Sister will live on in your Heart forever. Love to you xoxo

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  54. Darling girl - look after yourself and cherish the happy memories of Catherine. Much love to you, Brian and the young'uns from me and my Mister. xx

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  55. All my love Chooky, I wish things were different. May your christmas be filled with love.

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  56. dear chooky, I am sorry to hear of your sad news, I send you cyber hugs and love at this sad time x

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  57. Hi Chookey, thanks for your cute little X-mas gift. It arrived last tuesday, so just in time for X-mas. I hope you have a wonderful time and a happy 2016. Caro XXX

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  58. Love you my darling friend thinking of you xxxx

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  59. Donna I am so sorry for your loss. I hope all the good memories will give you comfort in the time to come. Sending you lots of hugs!

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  60. I am so saddened to hear of your loss Chooky, and the hard times you've faced this year. I can't imagine what you've been going through. Take care xxx

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  61. I'm so sad for your loss! Many hugs.

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  62. This is so sad … I send you all my best thoughts…
    Florence

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  63. No words....just big hugs. Xx

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  64. Sending you big hugs Chooky xxxooo

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  65. Thinking of you and sending you big hugs

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  66. Hey Donna! Thinking of you and sending lots of good thoughts and prayers your way. I know it's true that there's always someone else worse off than us, but that doesn't stop life from knocking the stuffing out of us, so be kind to yourself and take the time you need to rest, regroup and recover. Your blogging buddies will be here whenever you need us ... even if some of us also spend time over on "The Dark Side". :0) Big Squooshy Bear Hugs to you, my friend!! KRIS xx

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  67. Oh Donna I am so heartbroken for you. I can hear your anguish and pain. Nothing anyone says can make it better but just know that there are lots of people thinking about you that care a lot. Big gentle hugs to you xxx Fee xx

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  68. Time to rest and recoup, the heart is sore and the soul weary, time to close the doors and allow peace to settle in your mind. Life feels hard for those left behind, but rejoice because you had time together, there were memories and from the photos shared they are precious and good. It's a wonderful privilege to care for someone and I know from experience that it is draining but looking back it is also the most human thing we can do, it enriches the giver and soothes the receiver. Now you need to care for you......

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    Replies
    1. You are always doing things for everyone else. Time to do things for yourself.
      We are all thinking of you and sending lots of hugs at this sad time

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  69. Es ist so traurig für sie, umarme sie ganz fest.

    Liebe herzliche Grüße
    Uta

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  70. oh dear Chooky - so sad to hear this post and what you've been going through. SO glad you had friends and blogland there for you. Thinking of you and sending you hugs and my very best wishes xx

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  71. 😘😘 thinking of you everyday.....

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  72. I'm just catching up on past posts and so sorry to hear about you sister. Take care and take some time for yourself. Thinking of you.

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  73. Words aren't enough to express what I want to say... take care... take time.

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  74. I am so sorry to read your post. So sorry to hear your news... What a shock. I am thinking of you and wishing you healing time so that the good memories will replace the painful ones. Lots of love to you xxx

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  75. So sorry for your loss. Hugs xx

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  76. I am so sorry for your huge loss. Hugs and prayers go out to you.

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  77. Good thoughts and wishes to you all, today, tomorrow and for 2016 and beyond.

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  78. Hi Chooky. I am so sorry to hear about your beautiful sister. Sending prayers and hugs to you. Sandyn xxx

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  79. Oh Chooky, what very sad news. Thinking of you and your family as you grieve such a major loss.

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  80. sending you and your family prayers and warm thoughts

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  81. Chooky… I´m so sorry , I send to you and your family my best wishes and a very big hugh!

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  82. Chooky, I am so very sorry and know that words are just that words...but you are in my heart and I am sending up prayers for you and your family...may you find the rest you need and comfort in the memories you have...sending a hug across the ocean and hope that your heart heals a bit every day.

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  83. So sorry to read this post, friend. Holding you in the Light.

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  84. So sorry you are going through this tough time! Hope you will soon be able to think about the good memories, and laugh when you think about the fun stuff you did together. Being a twin mom I know how attached you two must have been... A big hug to you

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  85. Oh my goodness, you have been having a very rough year. I love the twin photos and stories.
    Blog when you can if it is an escape, we certainly don't expect replies.
    All the best for 2016, hugs to you and your family.

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  86. You are loved. Happiness is transitory, love is not.
    Just a tiny spark.

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  87. Dear Chooky, I was so heartbroken to read this post. Such a devastating loss. I know you will miss your sister so much. which is really the hardest part of losing someone we love. You have my prayers.

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  88. How very sad for you Chooky. Such an awful illness to have for your sister and her loss will be felt by you for ever. My kindest thoughts go out to you and your family. Love and prayers xx

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  89. So sorry I missed this post I have thought of you both a lot since August My heart goes out to you

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  90. Hugest hugs to you Chooky and to your family. Wishing you peace and comfort. xxxx

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  91. Big hugs Donna, just catching up on blogs...sending you lots of love n hugs xxxxx

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  92. Oh sweetie....I didn't even know you were a twin. You must really feel that part of 'you' has been ripped away....so very sorry to hear your news....your photos put a huge lump in my throat....they are such beautiful memories.

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  93. Awww, Sweet Donna -- I'm so sorry about your sister. I had no idea you were a twin. You sure look identical, even if you're not. What beautiful photos and memories. Sending you big hugs -- xoxo.

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  94. I'm so sorry about your sister and sad for your lost! Sure this Christmas was not the happiest to you and me. You have all my sympathy. Hugs

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