Sunday, 9 March 2014

feeling odd............

not sure where my emotions are heading................they were heading up.......I'm usually a glass 1/2 full person but as the week progressed it's tettering on the edge.........walking the tight rope....
one thing you get a lot of in a drought is death.........it's something you face all the time when drought is bad........and once an animal dies it stays there is sight for a long time.........a constant reminder and smell........you ride past it to feed the stock or it's one that got stuck in the dam so it's right near the dam when you check it etc...........you get the picture...........and you sort of become a bit immune so to speak........
I had been feeling much better about everything............we had finally been drought declared - government had finally acknowledged that we had been in drought........(I am sure they are idiots and are ignorant but lets not go there) and we have had a few falls of rain on 2 properties but no change at the inlaws still DIRT............now we are in a green drought............looks ok but nothing much for the stock to get hold of............we are still feeding and they are still looking for the feed.............fresh green grass is like you taking laxatives everyday........the feed goes straight thru the stock..........
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A few angels toughed my life............
rain, care and hope can make you feel so much better it is amazing...............and seeing the country come to life with green shoots is something you will never really appreciate or understand unless you have lived thru a drought...........we have some Belgian visitors at the moment and they have a whole new appreciation for rain............the life it breathes not only in the land but in the humans as well............it is something unique and amazing........unable to be measured...........priceless.....

Tight rope walker
but then there is the other side..............
Late this week we lost another calf and came home to 2 more sick - all different problems........my one eyed sheep I had brought home to the garden (the LAST one) he was my "pet project" - went down hill and I realised what was wrong.......fly strike in an odd spot but it was too late to save him..........
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yesterday we got all the cattle in here and vaccinated them........riding around you can see the blue patches happening in the paddock where the grasses are stressing as we didn't strike any storms this week......with a warmer week coming up it will start dying........heading back to square one........
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Friday I sold a few more of my heifers..........and a couple of smaller steers...........trying to lighten my numbers............I only have so much hay so if it means I can keep the others for a bit longer off they go......Mr Chooky had them sorted out with the agent on Thursday afternoon............hoping for an inch in a storm Thursday night and I would have kept them but it didn't come..........onto a truck they went.............
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finally today we mustered and trucked off the heifers we sold last week.........I spoke to the man who brought them on the phone twice today............he sounds lovely and I think they have gone to a good home...............and they will get to have there calves and keep breeding....................
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so it's a balancing act here............trying to stay on the tight rope.............
I don't want to fall off again..............it was a bit hard to get back on......
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I want to thank everyone for there support............blogging has been a distraction and support for me..............
I will continue to try and allow people to understand why I do what I do..............I don't want to swap my life..........I have a good one..........I love doing what we do...........I love the freedom of living and working as we wish........It's a massive challenge in so many ways when in drought.........somehow we will survive and get thru..........I am not looking for sympathy writing this..............it's just how I feel at the moment..........everyone goes thru ups and downs............this down is just taking a bit more work to get thru......as there is more going on then the drought but that's life isn't it........I will get there.........eventually.......

.........take care til next time.....Chookyblue.........

33 comments:

  1. Sitting on the other side of this globe i wish i could help. I am thinking of you a lot when i see our black and white ladies. Do take care!
    Hugs from Holland.

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  2. Thinking of you my dear farmer friend. & hoping the rain will fall soon.

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  3. I think you know that we all care for your and your family...but it bears repeating...I care. I so admire you for the words that you write reach all of us...teaches us to be grateful for what we have and mindful that others need our thoughts and hugs...sending you a hug from the desert in Arizona USA where our drought cannot compare to yours.

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  4. Wir hier in Deutschland denken oft an Euch ind dieser Zeit der Trockenheit und hoffen auf ein Ende der Schrecken!
    Liebe Grüße von Wilma

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  5. Chooky - it really is a privilege to read your blog - and for me, living on the coast in the burbs, your words & your honesty give me a much better idea of what life is like for farmers around our country.x

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  6. It is a real knife edge you walk. I am surrounded by farmers with the opposite but equally as drastic problem. I remain amazed at the strength of mind and commitment you all have.

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  7. My thoughts are with you...

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  8. chin up and hopefully your usual cheer will come back x hope it helps to know we are all here for you and are happy to listen to ANY amount of venting if it helps you to cope x

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  9. Glad to hear you're hanging in there Chooky. Sharyn:)

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  10. Oh.....baby girl, can't wait to give you a massive big hug...xx

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  11. Keep hoping & praying for you. Hope rain comes your way soon. Hugs,xx

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  12. Thinking of you ..... Stay strong xox

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  13. Yes always more going on...hang in there Chick and stay strong...we are with you! See you soon and let's have a glass of bubbles....getting close now! 3 more sleeps before we head off!

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  14. Yes, it doesn't take much for that 1/2 full glass to become 1/2 empty.
    Just keep a tight grip on the balancing beam and you'll make it to the other side of the tight rope.
    Enjoy your break away ... you deserve it xx

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  15. Hi Donna - thank you for posting all these messages on your blog and sending the email about the Sunday Night show. Living in a city, I have no real idea of what you and your friends go through. Reading your blog and seeing your photos is definitely a wakeup call. I was utterly shocked and upset watching that show because it made me truly realise how extremely serious the situation you are living through really is. (No need to reply.)

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  16. As always, thank you for sharing your feelings. If you didn't we would not be aware of the hardships you and all the other farmers, wives and families are facing.
    We continue to pray for good rains for you and please know you are in our thoughts each and every day.

    Joolz xx

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  17. Every day is certainly a roller coaster ride..no wonder your emotions are too. I think sharing your life on the land has been a wonderful insight for us city slickers....sending hugs xx

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  18. Oh Chooky, I do hope there's an 'up' soon. After our Thursday night chat I had my fingers crossed for rain but that obviously didn't work. Keep telling it like it is; we need to know and so do the politicians. Have fun with Kerrie and have a great time at Nundle; hope to see you there next year!

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  19. PS: Where in Belgium are your visitors from, Chooky? Rosy spent a year there on student exchange at Heist op-den-berg, between Brussels and Antwerp and Pete and I have also visited; it's a beautiful country.

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  20. It s a hard life, what you guys do.... I have so much respect for you and your family..... Stay strong

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  21. Still heart wrenching. Those poor animals. You. Hubby. everything.
    Glad you have a "break" to look forward to. x

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  22. I'm glad you can see the brighter side of things as well - glass half full is a definite trait for all the farming community and I imagine it adds a lot of stress to a relationship.
    we will all try to keep you as distracted as possible from Friday lunch to Sunday breakfast.

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  23. wishing rain comes soon and sending you a (((hug)) take care Chooky- you are amazing

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  24. Huge hugs to you Chooky. I really can't think of words to help. Writing it all down does help and it gets your story heard out there in the big wide world. Keep telling that story; there WILL be a happy ending. XXX

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  25. sending you big hugs my friend.xx

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  26. Crossing fingers for more rain for you soon Donna. Big Big Hugs...

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  27. sitting reading this with tears in my eyes - we're complaining about more snow and cold, but I feel foolish doing that knowing what you are all going through. You are an amazingly strong woman and I truly impressed by your strength and courage. I think I would have chucked the whole thing long ago and moved - I don't think I could go on like you do. I wish I could do something to help - be more than glad to send some snow if there were a way, so I'll send prayers for you and your neighbors that more rain comes soon to help you all. God bless.

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  28. As I read this my heart once again goes out to you...not much I can do from across the pond...but know that I am praying for you and praying for rain to cover the dry and desolate earth in your country...may this day be a better day for...

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  29. I think of you and our other farmers a lot. Despite what the media say, we in the city do care about you all and we know how important you are to our country. So thank you for hanging in there - hopefully some good times will come your way soon.

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  30. Girlfriend....All those big hugs that are coming your way on Friday will help to lift your spirits and if that doesn't work there will be wine!!! And yes sadly life is a tight rope sometimes and I too can admit that I have fallen off more than I have stayed on but there is something to be said about that feeling when you are standing tall and balancing it all and also the wobbly times when our friends are either side holding us up there.... You will soon be riding your unicycle along that rope and waving to the crowd...Just hang on for dear life now and it will be worth it in the end my friend.....Love ya xxx

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  31. Thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts. Hoping there is good lasting relief in conditions soon.

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